you will want to avoid it
but someone you love will eventually hurt you you will want to hang each breath on a clothesline watch the sun exhaust the effort each gasp came from but this will not be enough to calm the wound, to stop the weeping. You will believe every part of you is a plane crash, midair against thousands of birds- each feather will need a funeral. in between prayers for air you will remember how you brought him the sun in tea cups and late night massages, how the wrinkle of his smile resembled the circumference of a sliced lemon. he will not give you a straight answer to why your company is not needed anymore. but you will not accept it. you will remember how you fight for your black skin, protect her from the evil world of oppression. You will travel back to your first rally, how you chanted vigorously for a better world-a different kind of love, a new love that would sustain everything around you. and for that, you will remember you need people. he will suddenly look like a people. the mirror will try to convince you that you fail to love another. you will disagree. the clothesline suddenly will stop quivering and you will call him. you will fight for the good love. ask for an answer. and remind him that you love yourself more at that moment. and hope to always know when you need to love yourself, bring the fear out of each tear like the spill of blood from an opened cut. you will not get aggressive with silence, but stand above sound like that something that wakes you up each morning without an alarm- your body will know when the light arrived. |
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