PoetryAloud

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Mary Anne Rojas Reads

you will want to avoid it

you will want to avoid it
but someone you love will
eventually hurt you
you will want to hang each
breath on a clothesline
watch the sun exhaust the
effort each gasp came from
but this will not be enough
to calm the wound, to stop
the weeping. You will believe
every part of you is a plane
crash, midair against
thousands of birds- each
feather will need a funeral.
in between prayers for air
you will remember how
you brought him the sun
in tea cups and late night
massages, how the wrinkle
of his smile resembled the
circumference of a sliced
lemon. he will not give you
a straight answer to why
your company is not needed
anymore. but you will not
accept it. you will remember
how you fight for your black
skin, protect her from the evil
world of oppression. You will
travel back to your first rally,
how you chanted vigorously
for a better world-a different
kind of love, a new love that
would sustain everything
around you. and for that, you
will remember you need people.
he will suddenly look like a people.
the mirror will try to convince you
that you fail to love another.
you will disagree. the clothesline
suddenly will stop quivering and
you will call him. you will fight
for the good love. ask for an answer.
and remind him that you love
yourself more at that moment.
and hope to always know when
you need to love yourself, bring
the fear out of each tear like
the spill of blood from an opened
cut. you will not get aggressive with
silence, but stand above sound like
that something that wakes you
up each morning without an alarm-
your body will know when the light
arrived.

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